A lot of us do a lot of things in the Christian life out of guilt. “Gotta read my Bible. Gotta pray. Gotta go to church. Gotta perform, because then God will love me.” Good luck. God doesn’t save us or doesn’t love us because of who we are, He loves us because of who He is. What God wants with to do with Saul and what He wants to do with you is have it out about this sin problem. No charades. No trying to impress with bad religion. Come clean.